Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Congressional drones

Concerned that the unmanned aerial drones currently raining death upon the unfortunate inhabitants of Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen and Somalia aren't having their synthesized voices heard in Congress? Sick and tired of our brave robots defending American overseas lacking representation the halls of power? Fret no more, friend. Drones, unlike some bipeds, now have their very own caucus in Washington consisting of around 50 lawmakers -- perhaps the only patriots left in America.

Here is their mission:
This is an exciting and existing technology that will continue to grow, and improve our lives [ed: by ending them?] as public acceptance progresses. The Congressional Unmanned Systems Caucus’ goal is to educate members of Congress on every facet of this industry. We are this industry’s voice on Capitol Hill, and will work closely with industry to ensure we continue to expand this sector through efficient government regulation and oversight
Be sure to check out the sea of mostly pale white faces bravely speaking out for poor, disenfranchised military contractors like Raytheon, Boeing and Lockheed Martin in the face of the dire threat posed by the dark forces of the peace-activist-congressional complex. One only hopes they can convince the public they purport to represent to accept this killer technology for which their tax dollars are paying. Good luck, brave sirs!

As for all you other living and breathing folks, especially you hippies protesting the collusion between state and Wall Street, just be aware: while Predator drones have a voice in Congress, you don't.


  1. The great progressive Howard Dean on drone warfare.

  2. They're so fucking corrupt they actually brag about being shills for the military-industrial complex. They can't even pretend to be good people because they don't have a clue about what good is. They think they are good!!!

    God, I don't think the most OTT dystopic satire anticipated what we have here now. It's beyond belief.

  3. Chicagojon10:28 AM

    At this point they might as well put a PayPal Donate button on the caucus' website.

  4. Anonymous6:47 AM

    The Drones will come Home To ROOST! - MX

  5. rosemerry2:59 PM

    Marvellous to see the photos of them all! Dana Rohrabacher is the one who asked Iraq to pay back to the US the money it used to protect the Iraqis.

  6. Drones will bring us closer to Jesus.

  7. I've always argued with gun nuts: "So any control of any weapon is wrong? Everyone should be allowed to have absolutely any weapon? What about shoulder-launched surface-to-air missiles?"

    I'm pretty sure that I won't be able to use that any more, or I'll hear: "Well, what if we need to defend ourselves against ObamaDrones".